It just figures.
One of the perks of being my own boss here at the new and allegedly improved CultureGeek is that I don't have to watch awards shows anymore unless y'all really want those endless play-by-play recaps. I therefore ignored the Golden Globes with glee and made cookies with my son instead.
Of course, it would be the thing y'all are talking about today. Ricky Gervais apparently skewered all of Hollywood and awards in general. Shocking to all of us, they don't have a sense of humor.
As a friend put it so excellently, "Awww, did the Hollywood elite get their widdle feelings hurt last night? I got an idea, fuckers. Live in the real world where we struggle to pay the bills, then cry about it." There is a certain you-have-to-be-kidding about someone in a dress that cost more than my car complaining about the unfairness of it all.
Granted, Gervais skewered everyone pretty well, and maybe it was a bit far to call Bruce Willis "Ashton Kutchner's dad." But admit it, you laughed. And when he said the Golden Globe for special effects should go to the guys who airbrushed the Sex and the City 2 poster, the camera caught Chris Noth grinning and nodding.
Come on, you guys hired Gervais. If you can't laugh at yourself, then maybe you shouldn't pick up a porn star, pay her to have dinner with you, get drunk and naked and trash your hotel room, Charlie Sheen?
The misbehavior of famous people has been a staple for awards-show comedy for years. I recall when Whoopi Goldberg wrapped a loincloth around Oscar's waist and said, "John Ashcroft told me to do it." Seriously, Hollywood? You have less of a sense of humor than John Ashcroft?
Apparently so, since some anonymous mouthpiece at the Hollywood Foreign Press said, "Ricky will not be invited back to host the show next year, for sure. For sure any movie he makes, he can forget about getting nominated." Gawd, you want some cheese with that whine? Way to downgrade the quality of your own award – excuse me, sir, are you admitting that the awards are nothing more than a popularity contest? Because I figured that out years ago.
Buried under Gervais' extended middle finger were the actual winners. The Social Network swept best director, best screenplay and best score as well as best picture, which might be Oscar portents - and I was really expecting Inception to start its roll this way. Toy Story 3 beat out Despicable Me and Tangled, proving that Pixar has pictures of the voters playing golf with Satan. Natalie Portman won for Black Swan and The King's Speech picked up a few, following the buzz.
In TV, of course The Walking Dead lost to Boardwalk Empire. At least it didn't go to Mad Men again. Get the full list here.
But stunning to me was Katey Sagal's win (finally!) for Sons of Anarchy after three years of being utterly ignored. What did I say? As soon as I stop watching, the best show on television gets its due. Sort of - it really should have been best drama. Sagal has burned up the screen for three years with the kind of work that should have earned her a line of gold statues on her mantel. Congratulations to a job well done, madam.
And to Ricky Gervais, a tip of the hat. Perhaps he went too far, or perhaps not. But kudos for avoiding the single greatest sin of any entertainer: to be boring.
It just figures.