CultureGeek

MovieGeek: Alien Covenant

If you liked Prometheus, you will love Alien Covenant. I hated Prometheus, so I only halfway liked Covenant.

Ridley Scott seems determined to pretend most of the original quadrilogy didn't happen, and while we might agree with him on a few aspects, the Alien Queen rocked and I will brook no argument. Scott has apparently decided the Alien Queen doesn't exist, and that's a problem for me. Meanwhile, Covenant is trying to say something about religion and faith that ends up pretty muddled, while our trusty alien critters make mincemeat of a plethora of characters. 

From what I've read, Scott really wanted his new SF trilogy to be about the Engineers and mankind's search for its roots instead of the Xenomorph. The problem is, this isn't The Engineers series, this is the Alien series. He should have broken completely and launched a new franchise if he wanted to spend time searching for the Mysterious Aliens Who Created Us (and P.S. Star Trek already dealt with this concept, and did it without making me want to stick sporks in my ears).

Fortunately, someone (probably a few dozen movie execs) got through to Scott and he let the xenomorph take center stage again. There's still a few (hundred) continuity problems, but since Scott said he deliberately doesn't care about continuity with the original movies, I guess we aren't supposed to care either.

I will give high marks to the actors, who managed to make us care about the characters as they reenact And Then There Were None With Aliens yet again. Um, not the same way we cared about the Colonial Marines in Aliens, of course, or even the prisoners in Alien3. But let's not ask for miracles. 

Instead, we care about the characters because they care about each other: they're all couples, all on their way to colonize a planet. That's a good bounce to the theme, since most everyone was single in every previous iteration (because healthy relationships and horror/sf rarely mix, for some reason). When one of them bites the dust, the other truly seems to mourn, so we care. It's a nice trick. 

Extra credit goes to final girl Daniels as a worthy successor to Ripley, and Tennessee, played by Danny McBride in a nice switch from his usual dumb-as-rocks comedies.

Religion and faith... it would take a smarter person than I to figure out what the heck Scott is trying to say here. We have the Weyland-Yutani Standard-Issue Useless Leader, who only becomes the leader after a couple of deaths, and he spends most of his time complaining about how no one listens to him and griping that you can't get ahead in the Company if you're a person of faith. Oram's faith doesn't seem to have an real influence on him, mind you, it's just stated that it's part of him.

So for a minute we think we're going to see something about the separation of faith and science, perhaps the Xenomorph as punishment for their focus solely on the profit margins of the Company... only we don't go there. We see signs of other people of faith - one character is briefly seen wearing a Star of David - but it doesn't seem to have any impact on their actions or characterization save for the Useless Leader. The unseen Elizabeth Shaw of Prometheus was a woman of faith, but again, just saying you're a person of faith is lightweight characterization if it doesn't seem to affect anything in the story or the character's actions.

And then there's this. Ooookay.

SPOILERS!!!!! from here on. And there's David, leftover from Prometheus, who is apparently responsible for most of this going back to the original movies (not that we mention them or acknowledge their existence). Supposedly Michael Fassbender (who is really the best part of the film) bypassed the earlier Alien movies for his performance(s) as David and the new synthetic, Walter. Instead he focused on Blade Runner for his portrayal, and it shows. Really, watching Fassbender as David teach Fassbender as Walter how to play music, how to be creative... it's the best part of the film. It's almost a disappointment when the aliens show back up.

Scott supposedly said during Prometheus' publicity run that he sees humanity as the children of the Engineers. But then the humans created David, who created the xenomorph (really?), who destroy the humans. Wait, what? If you can figure out what Scott is trying to do here, please let me know. Or, rather, don't. I'd rather have a simple Xenomorph-eats-Marines flick than this muddled mess.

I've also skipped the biggest sin of the film: predictability. Whatever philosophical or metaphysical melodrama Scott may be working through in Covenant, it commits the great sin of being predictable. I guessed how the switcheroo ending would happen from halfway through the film, and knew it for sure throughout the final sequence. I was rather hoping I would be wrong, because THAT would be different, that would subvert expectations. Alas, the big reveal in the last two minutes was completely predictable if you've watched movies before. 

I still don't know why the eggs are practically chest-high now, why the Xenomorph incubation period is suddenly about twenty minutes instead of twenty hours, why the acid blood can eat through three decks of a ship but just muss up a victim's cheek, how the hell this trilogy is going to end up with a ship full of eggs on LB427, why they would pay James Franco's not-inconsiderable salary for what is barely a cameo role and a total waste of a good actor, or how the hell the poor writers on Alien 5 can figure out another round with Ripley with Scott messing up the timeline every fifteen minutes.

But in all, I still enjoyed the film, and you probably will as well. Just leave your copy of Paradise Lost at the door and go with it. It's still better than Alien v. Predator.

Monday Linkspam

Biggest geek news of the week so far is definitely the tragedy afflicting the Zack Snyder family and Joss Whedon taking over as director of Justice League. The fact that I really hated Snyder's take on superheroes in general and Superman in particular has no bearing on the terrible sadness he is fighting, after the suicide of his daughter. He said he knew he had to come clean about the reasons for this move, because otherwise the internet would explode with speculations about why Whedon (who has a very different style) is replacing him at the helm of the film. He is probably quite right. 

• Speaking of DC, it looks like early critics are loving Wonder Woman. Best DC film yet, lifting the doldrums of the franchise, etc. May all of you join me in the mantra again: Please don't suck please don't suck please don't suck...

• Congratulations to the winners of the Nebula Award! Including one of my personal favorites, Seanan McGuire. Hugos are still pending...

• A transgender artist drawing a comic about transitioning? Of course she's being harassed, doxxed and threatened with various forms of violence! Internet, you suck. Sophie Labelle had to cancel her book launch as well, which has a serious financial impact. Is that the real purpose: kill through financial strangulation? That would be speculation.

• The fascinating story of the battle between children's author E.B. White and the early proponents of children's libraries, via the New Yorker. More interesting to me than the battle of Stuart Little was the picture of libraries at the turn of the century, places barred to children kept at arm's length from literature. 

• Go ahead, Browncoats. You can cry now.

• My friend Dennis Upkins has the only quasi-positive review of the new King Arthur film I've read. He makes some good points, as well as providing some shirtless Charlie Hunnam, which is always a positive point. (Readers mass-click on the link.)

• As Supernatural is the current holder of the ER Memorial "That's Still On?" Award, it only seems appropriate that the Winchester Boys will be crossing over with Scooby-Doo, in full Hanna-Barbara cartoon-land. I stopped watching the show several seasons ago when it seemed that all the plots were "rinse, repeat." But I swear I might jump back in just for that.

• Did The Dark Crystal freak you out as a kid? Great! Now you can freak out your kids, too. Netflix has ordered 10 episodes for a weird-out miniseries. Minus Jim Henson, alas.

 

Thursday Linkspam

Rest in peace Chris Cornell, lead singer for Soundgarden, whose death appears to be hitting many hard according to social media. Variety says it is being investigated as a suicide based on what was observed in the hotel room, but naturally it’s far too soon to say. The reaction from the music world has been one of mourning.

• Fans of Neil Gaiman and the late Sir Terry Pratchett will be happy to hear that Good Omens is getting a miniseries. Naturally Gaiman is primary on this, since Pratchett has sadly passed away. It’s going to BBC via Amazon Studios, which goes to show the new streaming model means we may get weirder, more creative and funkier entertainment in the coming years than the focus-group networks have provided up till now.

• On the other hand, the Cannes film festival has banned movies only available on streaming services because they’re stuck in 1999. Netflix submitted Okja and The Meyerowitz Stories to Cannes and were admitted, but then there was screaming because apparently a movie can’t be shown on a streaming service for three years after it’s left theaters to qualify. Netflix offered a compromise, and they're allowed to stay this year. But instead of joining us in the 21st century, Cannes has decided to ban streaming-only films entirely beginning next year. Way to get with the times, folks.

• Star Trek Discovery finally gives us a trailer with actual, you know, footage. Some people are weirded out about the uniforms, or the setting (ten years prior to the original five-year mission), or whether it’s Prime-verse or Abrams-verse (it’s Prime)… I’m weirded out because the lead character isn’t the captain. Though Captain Yeoh is pretty awesome. Please don’t suck please don’t suck please don’t suck…

• Ridley Scott is now working for TNT, developing a series of original science fiction programming in various formats. TV-movies? Miniseries? Anthology series? No one really knows, but between this and the revamp at SyFy to actually put out sci-fi could hint that real science fiction is on the upswing after years of being reduced to Wargames! In! Space!

• Did you want more Sheldon? Because you’re gonna get more Sheldon. Big Bang Theory spinoff Young Sheldon gets the green light at CBS. I know as a certified geek I am supposed to love BBT, but I watched one episode and never laughed, while feeling mildly uncomfortable: are we laughing with the geeks or at them? But I know many of y’all love it, so here ya go: more Sheldon.

• I can't be the only one really nervous about turning The Haunting of Hill House into a 10-part miniseries. The opening paragraph of Shirley Jackson's novel is simply the best opening paragraph of any novel ever, in my oh-so-humble opinion. The story spawned an entire sub-subgenre of horror stories. So what could possibly go wrong? Meep. Please don't suck please don't suck please don't suck...

• TV series Mom decides to spend its $250,000 Emmy campaign budget on a donation to Planned Parenthood instead. Mom stars Allison Janney of West Wing fame and they are using their Emmy campaign attention to advocate on behalf of the nonprofit. I hadn’t heard much about Mom beyond Janney finally winning Emmys (which she deserved way back at the West Wing); it’s about a mother and daughter recovering from alcohol and drug abuse.

• Everything old is new again: Roseanne and Will and Grace will return after umpty years off the air, Fargo is in its third season (roh?), Twin Peaks and X-Files are on their way back again for more weirdness... is Hollywood out of ideas? Are we so exhausted with the dreck they've given us that we're delighted to return to the era when TV was really, really good? Can you capture lightning in a bottle twice? We shall see...

Monday Linkspam

I’m going to assume that it was MY column last week that convinced NBC to un-cancel Timeless. (Hilariously, showrunner Eric Kripke and star Matt Lanter both announced the change as if they went back in time and changed NBC’s minds. Hee.) I clearly have a very powerful voice in Hollywood, see? Deadline says NBC has been playing hardball with all of its series that are produced outside the network, including Blindspot and Taken. Both were renewed, but Sony and NBC were wrangling on the split of profits for Timeless and couldn't come to an agreement. But the cancellation announcement led to loud screams from the internet, and Sony was trying to find a streaming home, and NBC flipped a coin and said, “Okay, you get ten more episodes.” Writers: Bring it.

• In the category of CultureGeek Does Not Understand Fashion, Balenciaga is making a purse that looks like the IKEA bags, which amused IKEA no end. Balenciaga, of course, is one of those fancy-schmancy fashion companies that makes things I could never afford and often wouldn’t want. I do want IKEA bags, because they’re awesome. I have several. Mine cost 99 cents. Balenciaga’s cost $2,145. Did you know there’s a whole DIY subculture of making things from IKEA bags? I love that IKEA is all, “Go to it! We think it’s creatively awesome!”

• Bill Mantlo created Rocket Raccoon, and for 25 years he has lived in a nursing home after he was brain-damaged in a hit-and-run accident. Before the first Guardians film, fans apparently were campaigning to raise money for his treatment, and Marvel has negotiated a new compensation package that will allow Mantlo to move out of the nursing home and into a house next door to his brother.

• Ouch. King Arthur is the first box-office bomb of the summer, making only $14.7 million on its $175 million budget. Variety says King Arthur “may just want to put that sword back where he found it and pretend this never happened.” You know, I like Guy Ritchie most of the time, but that trailer pretty much drubbed everything anyone likes about the Camelot story and made it into Fast and Furious: Medieval Style. Yawn. Charlie Hunnam is far too talented an actor to try to build his movie career on playing Jax Teller in various settings, and I wish he’d cut it out.

• GeekDad takes aim at Barnes & Noble for its recent decision to mix new titles into their categories and turn all books spine-out. And I’m right there with him. Spine-out already is the worst sale position for a book; I once saw my books displayed at Dragoncon spine-out on the bottom shelf next to the register. Guess what? Didn’t sell a single book from that retailer. People have to really be looking to find your book if they can’t even see the cover. And as GeekDad points out, the big New Releases table is much too full of the latest political tripe or celebrity memoir or fad diet or yet another ghostwritten “James Patterson” thriller; you rarely see science fiction or horror on that table, and NEVER small press. Hell, we small press folk would be lucky to be spine-out on a bottom shelf to be ignored by the big boys. I like Buns & Noodles - hell, I like almost every bookstore. But the more they get taken over by toys we can get cheaper almost anywhere and endless piles of novelty gift thingies for when you really don’t know the person you’re buying for at all, and the more they do away with horror sections altogether and mix in our books with regular fiction (or fantasy - what?), the more we drift toward “a certain online retailer” because at least there you can find what you want. Do better! We want you to hang around.

• An excellent explanation for why the upcoming Wonder Woman movie is set in World War I instead of letting her punch Nazis. Of course, one could assume that Captain America’s running battle against Nazis past and present in the Marvel Universe might mean something as well, but then we’d have to talk about the current Cap storyline in the comics which doesn’t exist as far as CultureGeek is concerned so cram it, Marvel. In the meantime, I am simply hoping Wonder Woman does spectacularly well at the box office. We have all been chanting please don’t suck please don’t suck, but frankly, I don’t even care as much if it DOES suck, as long as it makes a boatload of money. In Hollywood, action movies with male stars can tank left right and center, and they will blame everything except “it had a male star.” That would be silly, right? But if a movie with a female star tanks a la Catwoman or Elektra, it tanked because it was a female headliner, and that’s the end of the story. If Wonder Woman tanks, it’ll be another 20 years before we get a superhero film with a female lead. So do us all a favor and go see it even if it sucks, okay?

• Also in comics, the new Doomsday Clock miniseries will allow Superman and Doctor Manhattan to meet. That sound you hear is Alan Moore’s head spinning around and possibly exploding. Also, Doomsday Clock will have no tie-ins, no offshoots, totally standalone… holy Hera, I might actually buy this.

• Finally, Disney bids farewell to “Wishes,” its long-running nighttime show at the Magic Kingdom. After 14 years, it’s being replaced with a new show that better not suck, because people are nuts for Wishes. Here, see the final show one more time.

Thursday Linkspam

Dangit. It never fails. A quirky little show pops up, it has problems but also some serious potential, and I like it. Naturally, it doesn’t survive the first season. Timeless fell victim to the Conspiracy Arc Syndrome that seems to bedevil most speculative fiction shows: really, guys, we can bop around from time period to time period and enjoy the hell out of the quasi-history our erstwhile, occasionally brainless heroes visit, and it doesn’t have to be a grand conspiracy theory. It can just be fun. I liked that show, perhaps more for what it could have been than what it was.

You know what else is cancelled or ending this year? Bones, Sleepy Hollow, Time After Time, Bates Motel, Rizzoli and Isles… okay, Rizzoli was a while ago, but I just now caught up and dammit, I loved that show. Among shows I didn’t watch but others did: APB, Rosewood, Frequency, Emerald City, Pitch, Salem, Ghost Hunters, Doubt, Secrets and Lies… did anyone actually know that Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing went six seasons? I don’t think I ever heard anyone mention watching it.

Thank God for Supergirl...

• Hey, remember when SyFy was awesome? Me neither. Oh, I remember the SciFi Channel, and THAT was awesome. And I remember Battlestar Galactica, which was the best series I couldn’t bear to watch a second time. And I remember that it used to run Star Trek and Twilight Zone episodes all the time, and if their made-for-TV movies were kinda goofy, who cares? Then they became the SyFyLys Network, and seemed focused solely on wrestling, sharks and being really, really crappy. Now the leaders have come up with the world’s ugliest new logo as part of their rebranding and “returning to (their) roots,” which sadly does not involve actually re-adopting the name Sci-Fi. They do say they want to go back to “high-end, scripted TV,” focusing on space/scifi, fantasy, paranormal and superheroes. You mean the genres currently kicking everyone’s ass all over the silver screen and somehow still failing on TV? By all means, SyFyLys, give us your best shot. (But please kill that logo before it breeds.)

• It’s going to be trailer after trailer these days, isn’t it? Well, that’s okay, because the Blade Runner 2049 trailer is fairly interesting even if you have serious problems with the first Blade Runner. That would be a constituency of me, of course. Look, I like Ridley Scott and I love Harrison Ford. But the first film felt like serious style over substance, Ridley Scott trying to be Stanley Kubrick but not quite soulless enough, with an extra bonus of rapist protagonist! Wait, I’m not the only one… Eric Haywood of RogerEbert.com makes a good case that Decker is the real villain of Blade Runner. Still, I might watch the new one, if only to unpack some of this stuff and see if they address it.

• Tor.com dissects The Fifth Element and why we’re still bedeviled by it 20 years later. My opinion of it today remains much the same as when I saw it in the theater: Silly fun, giant plot holes, gender issues, and in all a strange flick that I’d watch if nothing else was on. But that reviewer who said, "This is better than Star Wars!" is still high.

• None of you are interested in 30 hours of Doctor Who radio dramas, are you? Nah, didn’t think so… (Kidding!) Speaking of which, we’re getting more Torchwood! Capt. Jack and Gwen are back, since everyone else is DEAD (Russell Davies you bastard) and there is a whole new passel o’ cannon fodder plus cameos from the previous seasons’ survivors. Um, except there’s a slight hitch: it’s an audio drama. Why do you hate us, RTD? (Nothing against audio dramas, I’m particularly fond of of the art form for stories that are suited for it, but Torchwood really needs visuals and this feels like the BBC wussing out on the actual production costs of their spectacularly popular franchise.)

• Jennifer Morrison has quit Once Upon a Time. I never actually watched this show, but I have halfway-followed its shenanigans since so many of you love it. Despite the departure of its central character, it's been renewed, which may or may not mean circling shark-infested waters. I keep meaning to give this show a shot…

• Handmaid’s Tale’s Margaret Atwood recommends 15 books, including dystopian fiction. Some are obvious choices - duh, 1984 - but others are new to me. And I did not know the B-movie classic Donovan’s Brain was a book first. (I have not seen the series yet; I was thinking of making my family watch it with me, but that would require us all to be in one room. Thus it waits...)

 

Monday Linkspam

• The new Wonder Woman trailer has dropped. I liked the previous one better, but at least we’re seeing new motion on the movie with only a few weeks to go. This trailer was obviously geared at the super-action fans, heavy on the explosions and fisticuffs. As I’ve said before, I don’t even care if it sucks, as long as it makes money. Because if it doesn’t absolutely blow all the records out, if it’s even slightly less than perfect at the box office, we won’t get another female-centered superhero film for another 20 years.

• Book Riot says what the rest of us are thinking about Marvel’s idiotic, disastrous “Cap is Hydra” timeline that everyone hates and P.S. no one is buying.

• In the You’ll Never See This Much Cool Again category, see Star Trek authors Kevin Dilmore, Dayton Ward, Glenn Hauman, Robert Greenberger, Michael Jan Freidman, William Leisner, David Mack, Scott Pearson, Dave Galanter, Aaron Rosenberg and Keith DeCandido all in one place: the bridge of the USS Enterprise. All they were missing was Peter David!

• Oh, hello new IT trailer. Good thing I wasn’t sleeping tonight.

• And speaking of trailers, the Defenders trailer means that I’m going to have to watch the ones that aren’t Jessica Jones now. Dangit.

• Black Nerd Problems analyzes race in the new American Gods series based on the novel by Neil Gaiman. “After all, the black man in America knows sacrifice, doesn’t he? Part of the brilliance of Gaiman’s novel is exactly what he chooses to mythologize in his story of America; yes, there are gods, but the real mythological landscape is America itself, and an outdated form of American nostalgia.”

• The really excellent and terribly misnamed Edge of Tomorrow will actually get a sequel in defiance of Hollywood physics. Unfortunately Tom Cruise will be back - don’t get me wrong, Cruise is fun and all, but Emily Blunt is the real heroine of that story and Cruise’s fame tends to blot out everything else.  At least Blunt will be back, so maybe they’ll let her be awesome without standing in the big star’s shadow this time.

• And finally, a Random Useless Fact: Jerry Orbach of Beauty and the Beast and Law & Order fame was an uncredited extra in 1955’s Guys and Dolls even though he had a whole singing line to himself. He’s the guy in the barbershop who first sings out, “Why, it’s good old reliable Nathan, Nathan Nathan Nathan Detroit!” Once you’re looking for him and listening for his baritone, it’s clear as a bell. Of course, he went on to be nominated for a Tony for Guys and Dolls in the 1965 revival and originated the best song in The Fantasticks, along with his roles in the aforementioned movies, tons of Broadway, and of course Dirty Dancing, among others.

 

 

BookGeek: Feedback

It's no secret I adore the Newsflesh series. There are a few books/series that come along in a lifetime that smack you upside the head, that you could read over and over and never get tired of them, and if you're a writer, you wish you'd written that book.

I mean, c'mon. It's zombies and journalists, and the journalists aren't the bad guys. I choose to believe Ms. McGuire wrote these for me personally. It's a series I own in paperback and in Kindle, folks. (Note to those who didn't know: Mira Grant is Seanan McGuire's horror pseudonym. It's an open pseud. I am not telling tales out of school.)

Even so, I approached Feedback with some trepidation. I've seen other authors attempt to tell the same story from a different point of view, and it usually didn't work out well. Orson Scott Card, I'm looking at you... the Bean series bored me senseless.

I didn't have to worry. Feedback was almost as compelling as the latter two Newsflesh books, and if it wasn't in Feed's category - well, few books are (and few other books have made me sob, either). It follows another team of journalists, only these folks are following one of the other candidates in the presidential race that consumed (heh) Feed.

This team has something of a different focus than the Masons' crew. They worry about money. Georgia and Shaun Mason were the chosen ones, after all - the children of the world-famous Masons, and seemingly without resources as they guide their network of bloggers to cover the race and many other things.

And if the team in Feedback doesn't quite have Georgia's hunger for the news as a true journalist junkie, that's real, too. Not everyone is in it for the love. I did miss Georgia - but then I always miss Georgia. She sounds like me in my head, except I drink Diet Coke. The Feedback crew are lower-rent. They are the equivalent of the local paper or the regional daily, not the New York Times. But they do their job and they work hard, even if their job eventually becomes surviving the cataclysmic events around them.

I was surprised to see so many negative customer reviews, even discounting the jerks who wrote a one-star review without actually, y'know, reading the book. It seems the diversity of the characters annoyed some readers. Did I find it jarring for a gender-neutral character to be referred to in narration and dialogue as "they"? Linguistically, yes, because it's rarely done and at first I hadn't figured out that it was being used as they-singular and thought the other characters were referring to a group acronym. Sociologically, I understand (and if you don't, the book makes it clear). Did it "ruin the book"? Good lord, people, get a grip. It's a pronoun. Try reading a whole book in present tense and then come at me with that. The structure becomes a little disjointed toward the end, but that didn't ruin it for me, either.

I think that people with their own baggage about books that have GLBT characters as *gasp* leads are probably going to bring those issues to the book. Any book that features characters who are other is going to make some people uncomfortable, especially if they've never experienced any real diversity in their own lives. But if you're a Newsflesh fan, you'll enjoy a different look at the system - and at some of the other candidates, the ones not so hopelessly mired in surviving the assassination attempts - in this world they're surviving.

Recommended. And now I have to go read the Feed trilogy again.

 

MovieGeek's Roundup for 2017

Without further ado... here's the year's movies! In my humble opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary - I'm the only human I know who didn't like Love Actually, so don't throw anything at me. 

 

Best Films of the Year

• Moana. Disney’s upswell continues with a terrific adventure through the Polynesian islands, a heroine worthy of Disney and more, and a hilarious character in Dwayne Johnson as the demigod Maui. See full review here.

• Rogue One. I was not as bowled over as the rest of the universe, but I enjoyed this one more than Force Awakens, which is still to say quite a lot. At least one member of my party was disenchanted with the ending, but I felt it was far more realistic an outcome, bringing a little grit to what has been mostly a pew-pew-pew fantasy. Bonus for throwbacks and tying in so very nicely to Episode IV, and for the giant retcon of all retcons: why it was so easy to blow up the Death Star.

• Captain America: Civil War. Even though this film is basically Avengers III instead of a true Cap film. Even though I am allergic to the fanboy-service trend of making heroes fight each other just because we wanna see who wins instead of developing logical, plot-oriented reasons why the heroes would commit violence against each other (I’m looking at you, Batman vs. Superman and Avengers.) Even though it’s really rather squicky for Cap to take up with Peggy Carter’s grand-niece days after her death. Even though I am growing allergic to Tony Stark and feel the urge to slap him most of the time he’s moralizing, and there’s good reason for the fan theory that Tony is pretty much responsible for every mess that consumes the Avengers. T’Challa rocks, Spider-man amuses, I could watch Chris Evans read the phone book, and more importantly, the film explores some of the moral ambiguities of our vigilante heroes’ actions and the political complexities of their shenanigans. Even though Tony is a moralistic moron. Yeah, I liked it.

 

Would Watch Again

• Ghostbusters. Suffering only by comparison to one of the top ten comedies of the last 30 years, the new take on the ‘busters is a worthy successor with a lot of potential. See full review here.

• Star Trek: Beyond. At least they’re trying. It took three films for one of the Trek 2.0 movies to rise above “ugh” in my estimation - I tried to like the first one, tried really really hard, but after the second I was ready to write off the whole thing as a misbegotten money grab. Characterization is still strong with silly-stupid plots and no continuity, with villains who make no sense and the ongoing obsession with the Beastie Boys in the 24th century. (What?) Bonus points for the interplanetary civilization Yorktown, the coolest concept we’ve seen in many moons, and for a stumbling attempt at social relevance, which has been sorely lacking from Trek 2.0. Minus points for blowing up the Enterprise yet again - guys, it’s old. We stopped crying about it after Generations - oh, that was just me, everyone else stopped crying after Search for Spock. The deepest emotion I felt at Beyond was the death of Spock (SNIFF) and dedication to both Leonard Nimoy and far-too-young Anton Yelchin. Still, I’ll show up for the next one; now that J.J. Abrams is off playing with Star Wars, maybe we can finally see some actual Trek happening in Star Trek.

• Finding Dory. Pixar always entertains, and this one is no exception. If you liked Finding Nemo - and I did - you’ll like Finding Dory, because it’s pretty much the same film. I liked that Dory’s inability to remember things from moment to moment was actually a plot point and taken a little more seriously, since I was increasingly uncomfortable with mental disability as running gag in Nemo. Dory is unique in that there really isn’t a villain per se, and the struggles are against circumstances and life itself. It’s cute and charming, entertaining and fun. That’s all it really has to be.

• Doctor Strange was problematic. On one hand, it was an origin story with redemption arc that we’ve seen before, but acted exceptionally well and with a touch more realism than, say, Tony Stark. On the other hand, the whitewashing of one of the lead characters (and the production’s subsequent blindness in doubling down on it) really spoiled the taste for me. I went to see it in the hopes that there was a real, story-driven reason for it, and there simply wasn’t. I would put this one under “skip it,” except that it will likely tie in to just about every other Marvel movie, so you’d need to catch it on Netflix to understand what’s going on. This “Crisis of Infinite Crossovers,” by the way, is why I stopped buying comics…

• X-Men: Apocalypse. I wanted to love it. I’ve loved every outing of James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence as the X-Men crew. But a lame villain, downshifting Kurt Wagner to something far more mundane than the fascinating character of X-2, and the brain-numbingly inappropriate choice of setting a scene in Auschwitz dragged down what could have been a terrific film. That last was particularly awful; visiting Auschwitz was bad enough, but if it had simply been so that we could see Erik’s emotional response, that would have been fine, and a good opportunity for Fassbender. A CGI-created destruction of Auschwitz felt like capitalizing on one of the great tragedies of human history - a depiction of the Holocaust with Day-Glo paint. On the up side, (spoilers!) Xavier finally undoes his despicable mind-fuck of Moira, and while she forgives him pretty quickly, I’m hopeful that this reminds the writers of speculative fiction that erasing women’s minds to remove unpleasant or inconvenient memories from them is offensive and never an acceptable solution to painting yourself into a plot corner, especially when it comes without consequences. I’m looking at you, Superman II.

 

Skip it

• Independence Day: Resurgence. All this time we waited, they could have come up with a better script. Somewhere Roland Emmerich forgot that what made ID4 a blockbuster wasn’t amazing CGI destruction of the planet over and over again (been done) but fun characters put in extreme situations. You actually cared about who lived and died (mostly died) in ID4. I’d be hard-pressed to remember any of the characters from Resurgence. Perhaps we’re weary of the end of the world, or maybe we just need it to be more interesting than this.

• The Darkness. Despite Kevin Bacon’s continued likability and some impressively creepy visuals, this movie overall was so forgettable that when I saw it in my Stubs lineup, I had to look it up to remember that I’d actually seen it. And then read Wikipedia to recall the plot. Diverting enough at the time, but ultimately forgettable.

• Batman v. Superman. What a mess. I could go into detail about how much I hated this film, or I could simply paraphrase the far more eloquent Keith R.A. DeCandido: This was a film written and directed by people who hate Superman and don’t understand him at all. I don’t blame Henry Cavill for the dour pseudo-Superman series in which he’s enmeshed; he seems to be doing the best he can with what he’s given. It doesn’t surprise me, either, that director Zack Snyder wants to do Ayn Rand next; his Clark Kent raised by selfish, “let ‘em die” Kents fits perfectly with Randian philosophy, only that’s not Clark Kent. Surprisingly, Batfleck is pretty good as both Bruce Wayne and Batman, but then, I never hated him as Daredevil, either. It is also not his fault that the plot of this film makes no sense and there is no freaking reason for these two to be fighting each other. As with most comic book serieses, they pull the pin on the Big Story way too soon - it is too quick for Doomsday, and we feel absolutely nothing because we know what happens after. On the plus side, Wonder Woman is basically there to be awesome and set up her own movie. I would gladly rewatch her trailer a dozen times before I would watch this abomination again. For more about this mess, check out this roundup from The Guardian. 

Is this all the cinema of 2016? Of course not, but I’m only a poor working writer and cannot afford to go see everything in the theater. I heard very good things about Arrival, Kubo and the Two Strings, and Sully; and mostly positive things about Don’t Breathe, Deadpool, and Suicide Squad.

CultureGeek Jr. saw 10 Cloverfield Lane without me. He thought it was an “amazing” movie, far better than the first shakycam film of idiots running for 90 minutes. But he put the latest version of The Jungle Book  as “eh.” The discussion of Zootopia ranged from “better than Frozen” to “as good as Cars” from those in my household who get to see more movies than I do. It also holds the highest rating for the year on Rotten Tomatoes.

Overall, not the worst movie year we’ve had, but hardly the best, either. I’ll catch up with the Oscar-bait in January as usual, and I’m sure we’ll be revisiting the rankings before they start handing out little golden statues. In the meantime, I think I’ll go watch the Wonder Woman trailer again. (#pleasedontsuck pleasedontsuck pleasedontsuck) Happy New Year!

A year in memoriam

We've all joked not-so-lightly that when they run the Oscars obit reel this year, we will need a separate telecast. And those that claimed TIME's Person of the Year should be the Grim Reaper aren't that far off.

Maybe it wasn't more than usual. But it surely felt that way. From David Bowie to Debbie Reynolds, my count stood at 150, not including those lost in the Brazilian plane crash, and there's still a number of hours left in this misbegotten year. (This excellent piece in TIME detailing the photographers lost this year added several more names to my list.) There's actually been a backlash against the mourning - proving that the internet as a whole gets more soulless by the year - but here's what I have to say to that: pfffthftft

I actually found a meme that encapsulates this idea more eloquently than my raspberry: "We do not mourn artists we've never met because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves."

When we enjoy the work of an artist, they enrich our lives, and we are sad because we know there will be no more art and beauty coming from that person. The world is a darker, poorer place without art and beauty, and we are right to mourn that loss.

This, therefore, is my attempt to remember all the artists, scientists and other notable people who passed this year. I  started keeping this list about the time we lost Elie Wiesel. I am quite sure I will miss someone, and I hope you will let me know (nicely) so that I may add whoever escaped my notice. 

In memoriam.

• Lennie Bluett, actor, Gone With the Wind, A Star is Born

• Frank Armitage, artist/animator, Mary Poppins, Lady and the Tramp

• Otis Clay, musician, "Tryin' to Live My Life Without You"

• Leila Alaoui, photographer, New York Times, Amnesty International

• Angus Scrimm, actor, Phantasm, Alias

• David Bowie, musician/actor, Labyrinth, Rise of Ziggy Stardust, and much more.

• David Margulies, actor, Ghostbusters, The Sopranos

• Brian Bedford, actor, Robin Hood, Nixon

• Dan Haggerty, actor, Life and Times of Grizzly Adams

• Franco Citti, actor, The Godfather

• Alan Rickman, actor, Die Hard, the Harry Potter series, and much more.

• Jo De Winter, actor, Dirty Harry, Gloria

• Glenn Frey, musician, The Eagles

• Peter Marlow, photographer

• Michole Mercurio, actor, Flashdance, The Client, While You Were Sleeping

• Abe Vigoda, actor, The Godfather, Barney Miller

• Paul Kantner, musician, Jefferson Airplane

• Dan Gerson, screenwriter, Monsters Inc., Big Hero 6

• Antonin Scalia, U.S. Supreme Court Justice

• Drewe Henley, actor, Star Wars

• George Gaynes, actor, Police Academy, Punky Brewster

• Umberto Eco, author, The Name of the Rose

• Harper Lee, author, To Kill a Mockingbird

• Cara McCollum, journalist

• Louise Plowright, actor, EastEnders

• Martha Wright, actor, Sound of Music, South Pacific

• Maurice "Moe" White, musician, Earth Wind & Fire

• Pat Conroy, author, The Prince of Tides

• Denise Matthews, a.k.a. Vanity, musician

• Paul Ryan, comic artist, Fantastic Four, Superman

• Nancy Reagan, actress, First Lady 

• Robert Horton, actor, Wagon Train

• Frank Sinatra Jr., musician, "Believe in Me," "Black Night"

• Bob Adelman, photographer, TIME, LIFE, Mine Eyes Have Seen: Bearing Witness to the Struggle for Civil Rights

• George Kennedy, actor, Cool Hand Luke, Airplane!, The Naked Gun

• Larry Drake, actor, L.A. Law

• Joe Santos, actor, The Rockford Files, The Sopranos

• Garry Shandling, actor/comedian, The Larry Sanders Show, It's Garry Shandling's Show

• Merle Haggard, musician, "The Fightin' Side of Me," "Carolyn"

• David Smyrl, actor, Sesame Street; writer, Benson, Cosby Show

• William Schallert, actor, Star Trek, Dick Van Dyke, Wild Wild West, Bonanza, etc.

• Ken Howard, actor, The White Shadow, 1776

• Malick Sidibe, photographer

• Jim Harrison, author/screenwriter, Legends of the Fall

• James Noble, actor, Benson

• Patty Duke, actor, The Miracle Worker, Valley of the Dolls, Patty Duke Show

• Morley Safer, journalist, 60 Minutes

• Nicolas Tikhomiroff, photographer, Magnum

• Bob Fitch, civil rights photographer, Southern Christian Leadership Conference

• John Margolies, photographer

• Bill Henderson, actor/musician, Clue, City Slickers

• Muhammad Ali, athlete/activist

• Doris Roberts, actor, Everybody Loves Raymond, Remington Steele

• Chyna, actor/wrestler, WWF, 3rd Rock from the Sun

• Guy Hamilton, director, Goldfinger, Live and Let Die, Man with the Golden Gun

• Gareth Thomas, actor, Blake's 7

• Prince, musician/actor, Purple Rain, "Little Red Corvette"

• Madeleine Lebeau, actor, Casablanca

• John Berry, musician, The Beastie Boys

• Alan Young, actor, Mister Ed, The Time Machine

• Ken Graves, photographer 

• Theresa Saldana, actress/author, The Commish, Raging Bull

• Bill Cunningham, photographer, New York Times

• Sir Peter Shaffer, playwright/screenwriter, Equus, Amadeus

• David Gilkey, photojournalist, NPR

• Mary Feik, aviation pioneer

• Ronnie Claire Edwards, actor, The Waltons

• Lois Duncan, author, Stranger With My Face, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Killing Mr. Griffin

• Michu Meszaros, actor, ALF

• Anton Yelchin, actor, Star Trek

• Fan Ho, photographer, 

• Alvin Toffler, author, Future Shock, The Third Wave

• Elie Wiesel, author/Nobel laureate/activist, Night, And the World Remained Silent

• Noel Neill, actor, Superman

• Michael Cimino, director, The Deer Hunter, Heaven's Gate

• John McMartin, actor, Sweet Charity, Law & Order

• Garry Marshall, director/writer/actor, Happy Days, Pretty Woman, Murphy Brown

• Fred Ward, photojournalist, TIME, LIFE, Newsweek, National Geographic

• Sydney Schanberg, journalist who chronicled Khmer Rouge, New York Times

• William Gaines, journalist, Chicago Tribune, Pulitzer Prize

• George Curry, journalist, Emerge, Chicago Tribune, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, St. Louis American, and much more

• Thomas Steinbeck, war photographer/author, Down to a Soundless Sea, The Silver Lotus

• Jerry Doyle, talk radio host/actor, Babylon 5

• Kenny Baker, actor, Star Wars, The Elephant Man

• James Woolley, musician, Nine Inch Nails

• John McLaughlin, speechwriter/journalist, National Review, The McLaughlin Group

• Steven Hill, actor, Law & Order, The Firm, Mission: Impossible

• Juan Gabriel, musician, Juanga

• Marc Ribound, photographer

• Gene Wilder, actor, Young Frankenstein, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and much more

• Hugh O'Brien, actor, The Shootist, Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp

• Phyllis Schlafly, activist/author, A Choice Not an Echo

• James Stacy, actor, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Ozzie & Harriet

• Alexis Arquette, actor/activist, The Wedding Singer, Pulp Fiction

• W.P. Kinsella, author, Shoeless Joe (Field of Dreams)

• Edward Albee, playwright, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Pulitzer Prize

• George Odom, actor, The Hurricane, Law & Order

• Bill Nunn, actor, Do the Right Thing, Spider-man, Sister Act

• Stanley "Buckwheat" Dural, musician, Buckwheat Zydeco

• Robert Weinberg, author/editor, Pulp, Lovecraft's Legacy

• Jean Shepard, singer-songwriter, "A Dear John Letter," "Slippin' Away"

• Hikaru Carl Iwasaki, photographer, TIME, LIFE

• Arnold Palmer, golf professional, Hall of Fame

• Jose Fernandez, baseball player, Miami Marlins

• Gary Glasberg, showrunner, NCIS, Bones

• Agnes Nixon, writer/showrunner, All My Children, Guiding Light, One Life to Live

• Larkin Malloy, actor, Guiding Light, All My Children

• Gloria Naylor, author, The Women of Brewster Place 

• Patricia Barry, actress, All My Children, Guiding Light, Days of Our Lives

• Jon Polito, actor, Homicide: Life on the Street, The Rocketeer, The Crow

• Tommie Mikal Ford, actor, Harlem Nights, Martin

• Dr. Donald Henderson, physician, helped eradicate smallpox

• Kevin Meaney, actor/comedian, Big, Uncle Buck

• Sheri Tepper, author, The Gate to Women's Country, Beauty

• Jack Chick, conservative cartoonist, This Was Your Life

• Bobby Vee, musician, "Take Good Care of My Baby"

• Kevin Curran, writer, The Simpsons, Married With Children

• Audley Coulthurst, Tuskagee airman 

• Tammy Grimes, actor, The Last Unicorn, The Unsinkable Molly Brown

• Jeroen Oerlemans, photojournalist, 

• Don Marshall, actor, Land of the Giants, Star Trek

• Natalie Babbitt, author, Tuck Everlasting

• Julie Gregg, actor, The Godfather, Batman

• Wolfgang Suschitzy, photographer/cinematographer

• Janet Reno, first female U.S. Attorney General

• Robert Vaughn, actor, The Man From UNCLE, The Magnificent Seven

• Leonard Cohen, singer/songwriter, "Hallelujah," "Suzanne"

• Gwen Ifill, journalist, PBS NewsHour

• Florence Henderson, actor, The Brady Bunch

• Fidel Castro, president of Cuba

• Fritz Weaver, actor, Holocaust, Thomas Crown Affair

• Alice Drummond, actor, Ghostbusters, Awakenings, Doubt

• Ron Glass, actor, Firefly, Serenity, Barney Miller

• 20 reporters and an entire football team in the Brazilian LaMia Flight 2933 crash

• Van Williams, actor, The Green Hornet

• Keo Woolford, actor, Hawaii 5-O, Godzilla (2014)

• Bernard Gallagher, actor, Downton Abbey, Crown Court

• Don Calfa, actor, Return of the Living Dead, Weekend at Bernie's

• Margaret Whitton, actor, Major League

• Rodney Smith, photographer, In the Land of Light: Israel, a Portrait of Its People

• Peter Vaughan, actor, Game of Thrones, Brazil

• Greg Lake, musician, King Crimson

• John Glenn, astronaut

• Joseph Mascolo, actor, Days of Our Lives, Bold and Beautiful, Jaws 2

• Ruth Gruber, photojournalist, New York Times, Herald Tribune

• William Christenberry, photographer, Getty

• E.R. Braithwaite, author, To Sir With Love

• Alan Thicke, actor, Growing Pains 

• Bernard Fox, actor, Bewitched, Titanic, The Mummy

• Craig Sager, sportscaster

• Dr. Henry Heimlich, physician/researcher

• Zsa Zsa Gabor, actor, Moulin Rouge, Touch of Evil

• Gordie Tapp, singer/entertainer, Hee Haw

• Dick Latessa, actor, Hairspray, Stigmata

• Alphonse Mouzon, musician, The Eleventh House

• Vera Rubin, astronomer, innovator of dark matter theory

• Liz Smith, actor, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Vicar of Dibley

• George Michael, musician, Wham!, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," "Faith"

• George S. Irving, actor, Underdog, The Year Without a Santa Claus

• Ricky Harris, actor/comedian, Poetic Justice, Everybody Hates Chris

• Barbara Tarbuck, actor, General Hospital, Short Circuit

• Howard Bingham, photojournalist, LIFE, Sports Illustrated

• Tricia McCauley, actor, Step Up

• Richard Adams, author, Watership Down

• Carrie Fisher, actor/author, Star Wars, Postcards From the Edge

• Debbie Reynolds, actor/musician, Singin' in the Rain, Unsinkable Molly Brown, Irene, "Tammy"

• Cyril DeGrasse Tyson, civil rights and anti-poverty activist

• Don "Duck" Edwing, cartoonist, Mad Magazine

• Tyrus Wong, artist/art director, Bambi

• William Christopher, actor, MASH

 

Thank you for making our world a little more beautiful, a little smarter, or just inspiring us to create that much more. And here's to a much shorter list next year. 

MovieGeek: Ghostbusters

It's often been said that when M. Night Shayamalan dies, his tombstone will read, "Good, but not as good as The Sixth Sense." I was thinking of that when I saw the new Ghostbusters, a delightfully fun film that suffers only because it isn't quite as good as the first one.

Honestly, I approached this with trepidation mixed with dread, because while Kristin Wiig and Melissa McCarthy are well-known for their comic exploits, I saw Bridesmaids and utterly loathed it. I envisioned a Ghostbusters full of female scat comedy instead of the snarky character comedy of the original.

I was pleasantly surprised. Wiig and McCarthy still aren't my favorites, but I was surprised by the wonderfully quirky Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, whom I could watch all by herself. If the snark wasn't quite up to the original's standards, it was plenty fun, and we understood that these folks were new coworkers. That might've been one flaw: the original trio were guys who'd been working together for years and you felt that jibing history between them, and growing to include their fourth member, hired halfway through the movie. In this film, they're just getting to know each other, and still managing to be a ton of fun.

Chris Hemsworth was passable as the dumbest assistant alive, which is enjoyable despite the requisite scene where a previously-intelligent woman turns into a mumbling moron in the presence of Handsome Man (for previous egregious examples, please see Natalie Portman in Thor also starring Hemsworth). News flash: most women do not become idiots just because a hot guy is in the room. 

The story is the same we've seen before: ghosts plus idiot living humans create metaphysical crisis. The ghosts are several steps up from before - actually menacing at times! - and the idiot living humans, sadly, several steps less interesting. Bonus points, however, for Andy Garcia as a somewhat-weaselly mayor trying to manage his image through the crisis. 

And, of course, the homages to the original, with guest appearances by everyone from Bill Murray to Sigourney Weaver to the bronzed head of Harold Ramis, rest in peace. As usual, stay to the end of the credits. It's always worth it. 

I hear this film isn't doing well, probably because of the enormous backlash of OMG teh gurlz. I would really hate to see them drop what was obviously intended to be a franchise. I think this crew will grow on us, and I'd definitely sign up for another trip through the slime with them.