Snake on the Town

It's absolutely hiss-terical.

The silliness started about noon yesterday, as @BronxZoosCobra tweeted, "I want to thank those animals in the movie 'Madagascar.' They were a real inspiration."

Since then, the tweeting snake has taken in a Broadway show, hunted Donald Trump, taken a class at Equinox, watched a taping of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, eaten cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery and pranked Peter Alexander of NBC News.

 

Some of my favorites:

• "I do speak Parseltongue, but with a thick Bronx accent."

• "What does it take to get a cab in this city? It's cause I'm not white, isn't it?"

• "Holding very still in the snake exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. This is gonna be hilarious!"

• "Leaving Wall Street. These guys make my skin crawl."

• Upon being invited to a store sale... "If I recognize a single belt..."

• "At the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Temple of Dendur really kicks some asp."

• "A lot of people are asking how I can tweet with no access to a computer or fingers. Ever heard of an iPhone? Duh."

 

Meanwhile, @BronxZookeeper is having a tough day. His day started with, "SHIT." Since then, he has stolen a pedicab, broken his snake net, avoided Union Square, gotten drunk in a pub, stolen nets from Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, pedicabbed over the Brooklyn Bridge and generally been much more foul-mouthed and crankly than the errant serpent.

 

His highlights:

• "Seriously, @BronxZoosCobra. I give you special entrance to the rodent exhibit and this is how you re-pay me? NOT COOL."

• "Which one of you sons of bastards put a Madagascar DVD on my doorstep!"

• "Buying fireworks out of unmarked van in Chinatown. Cobras hate fireworks, didn't you know?"

 

Best exchange:

BronxZoosCobra: "Just FYI, I've had it with Samuel L. Jackson too."

BronxZookeeper: "Bastard won't return my calls."

 

Over the weekend, you see, the real female cobra at the Bronx Zoo escaped and has not been recovered. The real zookeepers believe the snake has not left the reptile house, and are conducting repeated sweeps, lures and traps to coax her out of hiding.

The snake herself says, "Follow me on Twitter. I really don't know how to make it easier than that. Well, I could join FourSquare, I guess." 

As of this writing, the snake has 48,753 followers. Her nemesis has only 2,913. It's all about the snark, man. SNARK, not snake.

And as for that wascally weptile.... fangs for the memories.

Comments

[Karen]

Pranked Peter Jennings? They do know he's dead, don't they?

[CultureGeek]

Oops, my typo. Peter Alexander. Yikes. Thanks, correcting...