Hollywood has run out of ideas, but Linkspam is still watching

In the category of “Hollywood has run out of ideas but we’re still there,” Zimbio did a roundup of prequels, sequels and remakes, some of which have already come out.

Believe it or not, many/most of them are not head-shaking exercises in whyyyyyy? We all know there will be another round of MCU films, most notably the next Avengers movie (see Trailer Park) and I may be dragged kicking and screaming to another Pacific Rim film, this time with bigger plot holes! Likewise Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, because my hate for Jurassic World won’t stop my eternally optimistic heart from remembering what it felt like to see the brontosaurus for the first time, even if the trailer shows us it’s going to be more of the same nasty, misogynistic claptrap.

Cautiously optimistic: Ocean’s 8, this time with an all-female caper. Starring Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Mindy Kaling and more. I am actually not hating this idea. And, strangely, the sequel to Mamma Mia, whose trailer actually tempted me to consider watching the first one. Bonus: Cher! Plus Mary Poppins Returns, which makes me veer from excitement to “should this exist?” - along with Bedknobs and Broomsticks, with Kate Winslet replacing Angela Lansbury in the trademark cardigan.

And despite myself, one (last? again?) Halloween movie, with Jamie Lee Curtis returning despite her previous death(s). And Nick Castle! #pleasedontsuck

Actually excited: Solo. Duh. Plus Incredibles 2: Finally, the live-action Mulan, and The Predator (What. I liked Predators. Unfortunately I also saw AvP 1 and 2.) I’m trying to be cautious about X-Men Dark Phoenix after the abomination that was X-3, but… I can’t help it. Only, how will they do it without Wolverine?

OMG Whyyyy: Overboard. Problematic premise that was funny because it was the 1980s and we didn’t really know better, now with less charm. Bonus The Crow Reborn, which replaces goth artist Brandon Lee with Jason Momoa of Aquaman bulk. Confession: I really rather hated the original, despite Lee’s undeniable charm, and I don’t know how I’ll feel about a bigger, badder, more violent Crow.

Huh?: A Star is Born, starring Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper with… Andrew Dice Clay? Also: Scarface, with Diego Luna in Al Pacino’s role? Meanwhile, Jungle Book gets yet another attempt - how many times will they try to make this movie?

And of course we must have the sequels: another Mission Impossible, Aquaman, Transformers (Bumblebee backstory), Wreck-it Ralph, Ant-Man, Deadpool, The Equalizer, and Fantastic Beasts.

But there is only one Grinch, people. And his name is Boris Karloff.

• And once again I am torn between “yay!” and “why does this exist?” Well, it doesn’t yet, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued by the idea of more Buffy. Hey, most of the major players are (um) between gigs at the moment, and if they’re going to do more Buffy, best get at it while the vampire characters can still pass for their “ages.” I’m not knocking them; that’s what poor James Marsters said when beleaguered once again with rumors of Buffy or Spike: The Movie. “If it’s going to happen, it ought to be soon,” he said. “Vampires don’t age, but I do.” (I’m paraphrasing, I can’t find the original link.)

Hey Joss: If you’re looking for something to do, I hear there’s this really awesome space Western with built-in fans…

• Duolingo is now offering Klingonese as an actual language you can learn. Qa’pla! (Or is it Qapla’?)

• Submissions are now open for the 2018 Whitaker St. Louis Filmmakers Showcase, screening films written, directed, edited or produced by St. Louis natives. Check out the July event and how to submit YOUR film here. Likewise, check out the St. Louis Science Fiction and Fantasy Short Film Festival, a juried competition with cash prizes hosted by Cinema St. Louis. Details here.

• I am a long-time member of the Sarah Connor Charm School, and as they point out: “Do you want self-aware A.I. killing us all? This is how you create self-aware A.I. that will kill us all!”

• Tor.com has a series of “And Related Subjects” in which writers write about not-writing. This week it’s terrific tie-in author Keith DeCandido on his martial arts journey.

• The family of Marvin Gaye prevailed in Robin Thicke’s appeal on the copyright infringement suit over “Blurred Lines.” The suit awarded $5.3 million plus 50 percent royalties to Gaye’s estate after the trial judge ruled “Blurred Lines” was illegally copied from Gaye’s “Got to Give it Up.” Thicke has been appealing over the hit song, but the appeal was denied.

• The death of Toys ‘R Us has all of us Gen-Xers in mourning. So if you feel like hysterical weeping over your lost childhood, check out a minor-key pop remix of the Toys ‘R Us jingle as dirge, going viral right now. Meanwhile, the founder of Toys ‘R Us died, ostensibly not because of the impending demise.

• Did you know that Timeless was un-cancelled? Did everyone know this but me? I remember mourning it, as a fun-if-occasionally-stupid show that qualified as my guilty pleasure. Season 2 is on its way after all!

 

RIP

• Stephen Hawking, renowned scientist and all-around genius. A former Lucasian professor of mathematics at Cambridge, he was known as much for his ability to popularize science as for his own theories. At 76, he outlived his original two-year diagnosis of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis by more than 50 years. As several put it online, the collective IQ of the United States just dropped significantly. He did a brief cameo on Star Trek: The Next Generation, joining Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Data for a poker game. (Spoiler: They don’t get along well.) Allegedly, on his visit to the set, he asked to be put in the captain’s chair (a rare departure from his wheelchair) and when he saw the warp drive set, he said, “I’m working on that.”

• Steve Reevis, Native American actor featured in Dances With Wolves, Fargo, Twins and many others. He grew up on the Blackfeet Reservation and began acting in 1987, with a long career in supporting and leading roles. He died in December, but his death was only recently announced online.

• Kate Wilhelm, speculative fiction author. Co-founder of the Clarion Writers Workshop, Wilhelm has been published since 1963 in dozens of books, short stories, magazines and more. Her death adds to the number of founding mothers of speculative fiction, as we lose another generation of our mentors.

• Floyd Carter Sr., 95, former Tuskagee airman who married one of the all-female repair crew. He joined George Lucas for the screening of the film Red Tails about the Airmen, who were the first black aviators in the U.S. military. He died last week.

• Robert Scheerer, longtime television director who chalked up 11 episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, one of Deep Space Nine and two Voyager in his era. Among his credits are “The Measure of a Man,” which I consider one of the finest hours of television, and “Shadowplay” as well as “Chain of Command, Pt. 1.” He was 89.

 

Trailer Park

• Infinity War. Final trailer. If they kill Cap, I will riot. (It will be a small riot, but I will riot nonetheless.) Chris Evans said he’s probably done with Cap after Avengers 4, which is NOT good for me because he’s about 65 percent of the reason I watch, but good in that I guess that means he’s not dying in Infinity War.

• An Ordinary Man, starring Sir Ben Kingsley as a war criminal in hiding. Final trailer.

• I don’t necessarily mind that the new Karate Kid movie is rehabilitating the bully from the first movie as the new Cobra Kai. I rather liked the idea that a) bullies are usually raised/taught by bullies, b) people can outgrow childish dickishness, and his character did congratulate Daniel at the end of the first one; and c) bonus points for an overweight girl fighting well. However, making Daniel into an utter prick of a car salesman tells me this falls more in the line of the ill-considered Heathers remake: See? The bullies are really the good guys! Underscored by the voiceover about “real” martial arts training a la military without all that weak self-control and inner strength meditation. We don’t need that! Entitled white heterosexuals are the ones who are picked on now! And will that heavyset girl be a real character, or a running fat joke? Stay tuned.

• Broadway trailer for the upcoming Frozen looks promising!

 

Coming This Weekend

• The Hallquist Brothers are playing at Knights of Columbus in Edwardsville this weekend. $6 in advance, $7 at the door. These kids are amazing, you should definitely catch the show.

• Pacific Rim Uprising is here, god save us, and while I don’t think it’ll knock Black Panther off his throne, it should take the weekend. Also released this week: Sherlock Gnomes (no), Isle of Dogs, Unsane, Midnight Sun, and Paul, Apostle of Christ.

 

Continuing:

• BLACK PANTHER because of course it is. Also A Wrinkle in Time, Love Simon, Annihilation, I Can Only Imagine, Thoroughbreds, Hurricane Heist, Death Wish, The Strangers, Gringo, Red Sparrow, Game Night, Tomb Raider and Peter Rabbit.

• Limited: Jumanji,The Greatest Showman, The Shape of Water, Fifty Shades Freed and Three Billboards.